Hiding in the dark

Monday morning 102/365 (Photo credit: Blue Square Thing)

The mommy and daddy monsters left Sean alone in the dark, battered and bruised.  He heard the click of the lock on the bedroom door, then their footsteps walking toward the kitchen.  He didn’t know how long he stayed on the bed, his hands still gripped around the rails on the head-board.  He wanted to curl up in a ball and drift into the dark place.  The place no one could ever follow him.  No one could yell at him or hurt him.  The place where little boys didn’t live with mommy and daddy monsters, or get locked in their rooms, bleeding and hungry and hurting.

Finally braving the pain that wracked his little body, the boy began slowly moving, trying to make the hurt go away.  He lay there in the dark, staring at nothing, holding and rocking himself, refusing to allow the tears to fall.  He asked himself why he was always such a bad boy, why couldn’t he be a good boy?  If only he could be good, then maybe his mommy and daddy wouldn’t have to be monsters.  Maybe they could love him.  He told himself he would be a better boy.  No matter how hungry he gets, he won’t ever take food again.  He will be so good that they will smile at him and hug him and read him bedtime stories like the nice people do when he gets to stay with them sometimes.  Maybe, if he can be good enough, his mommy will let him help her bake cookies like the nice lady did that one time.  And maybe his daddy will let him sit on his lap and they’ll watch cartoons on tv and laugh at the funny ones.  If only he could be good enough for those things to happen…

As the little boy’s eyes began to close, he began rubbing the satin border on the blanket between his fingers and thumb, the thumb finding its way into his mouth.  Sometimes, when you’re only three, you find what comfort you can, especially when you live with mommy and daddy monsters.

The surrounding darkness

Graffiti Monster Eating Human (Photo credit: epSos.de)

The monster stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind him.  The boy struggled to his feet, desperately thinking about hiding.  But he knew he had no place to hide where the monster couldn’t find him.  He wrapped his arms around his stomach, trying to ease the pain caused by the vicious kick from the monster.  The boy began trembling.  He knew the pain was going to get worse.  He knew he would be punished for eating the crackers that didn’t belong to him.  He had tried so hard not to take the crackers, but the monsters had been gone from the house for three bedtimes.  He tried not to eat the food because he knew the monsters got mad at him when he ate anything without asking first.  But he was so hungry and didn’t know when they would come back.

Part of him had hoped  the monsters would stay away forever.  But he was just a little boy and he knew little boys have to have grown-ups around to do things for them.  Little boys don’t know everything yet.  He wished the monsters had taken him to the nice people before they left, but they locked him in the house instead.  He knew how to unlock the door, but remembered the punishment he got one time for going outside when the monsters were gone. He remembered he couldn’t walk for days after the punishment.  He didn’t know how many days because that was when he was littler, before he knew how to count.  He just knew he didn’t ever want to get punishment like that again.  So he stayed in the house no matter how hungry he got, no matter how cold he got.  He tried to be a good boy.

No matter how hard he tried, he was never a good boy.  He wanted to be good, but the monsters both told him he was a bad, dirty boy.  He knew bad boys got punishment, the monsters told him that almost every day.  If he could be good, then he wouldn’t have to get the punishment. The nice people always told him he was a good boy, but he didn’t know why he couldn’t be good when he was home with the monsters.

Suddenly the door slammed against the wall.  The monster filled the doorway, swinging the big belt back and forth.  He stepped into the room and the other monster walked in behind him.  The daddy monster pointed at him and said to the mommy monster, “Get the brat on the bed and hold him.  It’s time for his punishment.”