Reading my blogging pal’s (Amy) blog post today about cleaning house http://survivingmiddleage.wordpress.com/2013/01/03/cleaning-house-in-all-ways/#comment-2407 triggered the idea for this post…so, thanks Amy! You know we writers are always looking for something to write about.
There are people in our lives who create chaos…some people who do it wherever they go and others who are more selective, creating chaos in certain situations. I’ve had people in my life who live for drama, some that I’ve worked with, some that I’ve lived with, some I’m related to, and some that I’ve called friends. With co-workers, I’m not sure there’s a lot you can do to avoid them short of getting a new job. What I’ve learned to do is to simply not interact with them in any way other than a professional manner…don’t take breaks with them, don’t socialize with them outside of work, don’t get caught in “water cooler discussions”. I’ve worked with people who were so negative about everything and everyone, sometimes I didn’t realize the extent until they’d left the company. So much for my awareness, huh? Or maybe that’s an indication that my method works…
With friends…that’s where it gets tough. You’ve often known these people for years, you love them like family. But they just drag you down with the dramatic tragedy that consumes their lives. When you talk with them, it’s all about them…all about their money problems, their family problems, their job problems, and so on and so on. Now I’m not saying that there’s not going to be some ebb and flow in a friendship…there will be times when one friend is more needy than the other. In those times, the other friend provides support, understanding, compassion, and sometimes help such as money or groceries or a car ride to the doctor. That’s what friendship is. But when one friend is constantly the taker to the point of not having a clue about what’s going on in the other friend’s life…well, that’s when it might be time to rethink the friendship. You have to decide if you can continue in a friendship that is decidedly one sided…if you can, good for you. If not, well…then you need to figure out what to do to make the situation work for you.
Ahh….and then there’s family. Family…the people who are supposed to love you no matter what. And the people who know, better than anyone else in the world, how to push your buttons. Sad to say, but in dealing with some members of my family, I’ve learned that the best thing to do is never have a conversation about hot-button topics (you know the ones…religion, politics, social issues, money). I simply won’t do it. I’ll walk away before I do it. Does that make me a coward? Or does it make me a person who doesn’t want to engage in heated discussions with people I love? Why go looking for an argument? Of course, that’s exactly what a chaos creator does…they want to start an argument, they want to score points, they want to tell you what’s wrong in how you’re living your life.
So, if you have someone in your life who causes your blood pressure to rise every time you’re around them, every time you talk to them, every time you read their Facebook posts…well, maybe it’s time to seek a little peace in your life…or not…it’s up to you. As for me, I’m at a place in my life where I like peace over chaos…well, except for the times I’m the instigator…uh oh…maybe I have a little chaos creativity in me as well…
- Friendship as a Saviour of Breath (fakihahassanrizvi.wordpress.com)
- I DO Have Friends! (brandonbored.wordpress.com)