Decluttering challenge, days 12, 13, 14

Oh man, you’d think having four days in a row off work would allow me the time to declutter, take some pictures, and write about it.  You’d think.  I’ve just felt awful though.  Kind of feels like a waste of time off.  I had planned to do so much while I was off and was lucky to make it out of bed by noon.  Oh well…so my decluttering didn’t go quite the way I wanted it to.  Instead of tackling my closet, I pitched out enough magazines to cover days 12 and 13.

Then today I cleaned out the fridge.  You know all of those salad dressing bottles?  The ones you bought thinking they sounded good?  And then they turned out to be not so good?  Yeah, threw out several of those today.  Also a few carrots that I somehow overlooked to the point where they just didn’t look all that appealing any more.  Found some green onions that I had to pitch.  Wish I would have found them sooner, I could have cut the green part off and planted the bulbs and grown some more green onions in my house.  But I didn’t so I couldn’t.

Anyhow, I ended up getting rid of 15 things out of the fridge today, so was able to surpass my goal of 14 items. For the month of January, I’ve now managed to eliminate 127 items from my home.  I have to admit, it is becoming more difficult to find the number of items I need each day.  The refrigerator cleaning made for a pretty quick search today, but now it’s clean.  So tomorrow?  Not sure where I’m going from here.  Plus I have to go back to work tomorrow, so exhaustion and time play into it as well.  What I really need to do is start (or even finish) my search tonight, but I have other things I want to do too…argh!!  Why does life have to be so hard sometimes?  Ha!!  Yeah, because I have it so tough, right?  Whine, whine, whine…

What are you whining about  working on this evening?

Scout on the treadmill, literally on it~

I think Scout is trying to tell me something…like, “Hey, you need to start using this thing.  If you’re not going to, I will.”

Giving in to the pain?

Dr. Miles’ Anti-Pain Pills, Edmonds Historical Museum, Edmonds, Washington. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I have several doctor’s appointments coming up over the next couple of weeks.  And you know how much I’m looking forward to that, right?  The thing is, I find myself  blaming the doctors because I’m still in so much pain every day.  It feels like they’re not really taking it seriously.  I know I haven’t been actively seeking medical treatment for the pain for all that long, but I’ve been In a lot of pain for several years now.  Maybe I need to stress that when I see the various doctors this month.

There are days I go to work wondering how I’ll make it through the day.  Granted, I’m usually able to survive the entire day at work, but at what cost?  Sometimes I cry all the way home.  Other days I manage to work my way through the basics before I collapse in bed.  Isn’t there something the doctors can do to help ease the pain?  I’ve been on Celebrex for several months now…it’s sure not doing a lot for me.  Can’t we look at what I’ve already tried and find something different that might work?  Why keep prescribing the same thing when we know it’s not helping?  And why am I so dumb that I keep taking drugs that don’t do anything for me?  Why can’t I just tell them I want something stronger?

I understand that the doctors are trying to find meds that will work at the lowest possible dosage…I get it, I do.  In the meantime, what?  Just keep hurting?  Just keep on not being able to sleep?  Just keep trying to make it through the day in a fog of fatigue?  Most of the time I find myself giving in to the pain, thinking that I’ll just have to live with it, that there’s no help for it or for me.  Whew!  Do I sound like a whiny brat, or what?  Hey, there are times that the pain will do that to you…

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RA sucks

If you have RA, you already know how much it sucks.  If you don’t have it, or some other condition in which you experience chronic pain (and don’t know someone who does), well…then you really have no idea.  I had the weekend off work.  And, of course, I had all these plans about what I was going to do with my free time.  We all know what they say about the best laid plans, right?

I spent the weekend in some of the worst pain I’ve experienced.  My left ankle froze up….I couldn’t bend it at all and it was pretty darn painful to put any weight on it.  That kind of threw a big monkey wrench in the weekend plans.  I just sat around most of the time.  Well, that and took naps.  Of course, I couldn’t really sleep because anything touching various parts of my body caused some pretty intense pain.  That makes a gravity-free chamber sound like a worthwhile investment…I’m just afraid something like that would probably wipe out my life’s savings and I might just need that money down the road for silly little things like, oh I don’t know, medicine?

I woke up this morning before the alarm went off.  I think the sounds I made when I tried to roll over scared at least one life out of the cats.  They both sat up and stared at me, wondering what language I was speaking and what it meant.  When I finally was able to struggle to the side of the bed, I tried to stand.  I’m thankful I never put full-length mirrors in my bedroom.  I’m pretty sure I was hunched over like a 90-year-old woman.  After hobbling around for a couple of minutes, I knew I wasn’t going anywhere today.  So I made the dreaded call in to work.  Fortunately, there were no threats telling me I better get in there or else.  Seriously, I’m lucky to have a great boss.  He’s understanding…or at least as understanding as someone who knows very little about RA can be.

After placing the call, I used the furniture and walls to support myself as I made my way to the bathroom.  I thought about going downstairs, but gave that thought up and climbed back into bed.  I couldn’t really go back to sleep, but Spooky snuggled up next to me, emitting her warm, healing cat vibes.  Amazing how much it helps to have a pet right there with you when you don’t feel well, isn’t it?

I finally struggled back to the bathroom and took a hot shower.  I really wanted to soak in the tub, but I was afraid I would have to crawl out of it today and that didn’t sound all that appealing to me.  I did finally get dressed…well, sort of…if you consider putting on a clean pair of pajamas getting dressed.  I think that’s as close to getting dressed as I’ll get today.

I made my way downstairs and fed the cats.  I looked at the juicer sitting there on the counter but couldn’t dig up enough energy to make some fresh juice.  I did have tea in the fridge that I’d prepared the night before for work.  What the heck, it’s wet.  It works just fine to wash down that handful of pills I take every morning.  And who knows?  Maybe I’ll feel like making some juice later on…it’ll taste just as good later in the day.

When I sat down at my computer, I started reading and replying to the posts of some of my favorite blogs.  That’s when it hit me.  I still have a week and a half before I see the rheumatologist.  I have no idea what to expect.  I do know this first visit won’t be that magic cure we’re all hoping for.  I think, in the back of my mind, I’ve been telling myself that once I see the rheumy, everything will be better.  I’ve read enough of other people’s experiences to know that that’s not likely to be the case.  So I’ve just got to suck it up and accept that this is apt to be a bumpy road. Guess I’d better look around and see if I can find a soft cushion to help me tolerate those big, bad bumps in the road, huh?

 

 

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A pretty good day!

After spending the entire week in pain…not just minor, everyday aches and pains, but pain where I was wondering if the cats would be alright if I didn’t go downstairs and feed them because I hurt too bad to maneuver the stairs…I was shocked when I woke up this morning.  I laid there for a minute, afraid to move.  I didn’t have the throbbing pain in my hip that was just waiting until I made the slightest move so it could once again attack me.  My hands were stiff (they always are), but there were no shooting pains running down my thumbs into my wrists.  My shoulders didn’t feel like they would be dislocated at any moment.  My feet were sore, but not screaming in pain simply because the comforter was on them.

Wow!  I hadn’t felt that good upon awakening in a long time…months really.  So I slowly rolled up until I was sitting on the edge of the bed.  When I stood up, I still hobbled around like an old lady, but at least not an old lady in unbelievable pain.  I even managed to do a little housework today…more than the bare minimum which is what I’ve been doing for, oh gosh, what’s it been?  Six months?  I cleaned the tub (after a nice long soak in it), vacuumed the bedroom (even moving some of the furniture), went through a couple of piles of stuff and tossed out most of it (why do I save things like catalogs and magazines?  why not just throw them out once I’ve looked at them?), dusted the upstairs, took some things off the walls to either donate or sell (I’m tired of looking at things, don’t you get like that?),  and hung this organizer I bought months ago to put my nail polish in (the nail polish I haven’t used in months…but I will).  I’m pretty pleased with how it displays all of my polish for me…no more digging for just the right color.  Of course, I had to climb up on a step-ladder which was a little scary…I’ve been having dizzy spells with the various meds I’m on, so ladder climbing is supposed to be a big no-no for me.  But I’ve got Spooky trained to call 911 if anything happens, so it’s all good.

Looks so simple, but has taken me months to do.

I must admit, I did take a few breaks throughout the day, but I’m still feeling pretty good.  Pain level between 1 and 10 (10 being excruciating), I’d say I woke up at a 3 and never went over 5 for the day.  I think that’s a reason to celebrate…hmm…maybe I’ll do that by digging out some nail polish…

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No further info…

Atrium inside Mayo Clinic Gonda Building, Rochester, Minnesota (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

Well, okay…that’s not exactly the truth.  What I should have said was that I have yet to see the specialist so I’m not really sure where we go from here as far as the medical treatment goes…but, as you can see, that would be entirely too long for a title.

However, I do have information…I had no idea there was so much info out there about RA.  (Makes sense since I never really gave it a thought before, right?)  My first stop was the website of the Mayo Clinic and there’s an abundance of information there.  I’ve also visited the sites of several other hospitals (Cleveland Clinic being one since I have a friend who has a son who was treated there for several years and I know how well-respected their pain management program is) to gather info.  I’m trying not to become immersed in this…I’d prefer it not control my life.  But knowledge is power….who said that, anyhow?

And then there are the blogs!  Oh my goodness, I had no idea how many wonderful people are willing to share their journey with us.  It really does help to hear from folks who live with this from day to day.  Doctors are one thing, having gone to school and been in practice for a while, but people who live with rheumatoid arthritis have a unique perspective.  Those who are in the trenches are sometimes better able to provide encouragement and suggestions.

After doing some research, I realized how dumb I was.  When the doctor told me it was rheumatoid arthritis, I thought it was no big deal.  I’d be able to pop a few pills and continue on my merry way (and that could be what happens…will have to see how it runs its course).  Then I began reading.  Whoa!  I had no idea it could be so serious.  But, I’m trying to remain positive…no use worrying about things that may never happen.  See the specialist and then proceed from there.  Hey, really what else is there to do?

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