If you have RA, you already know how much it sucks. If you don’t have it, or some other condition in which you experience chronic pain (and don’t know someone who does), well…then you really have no idea. I had the weekend off work. And, of course, I had all these plans about what I was going to do with my free time. We all know what they say about the best laid plans, right?
I spent the weekend in some of the worst pain I’ve experienced. My left ankle froze up….I couldn’t bend it at all and it was pretty darn painful to put any weight on it. That kind of threw a big monkey wrench in the weekend plans. I just sat around most of the time. Well, that and took naps. Of course, I couldn’t really sleep because anything touching various parts of my body caused some pretty intense pain. That makes a gravity-free chamber sound like a worthwhile investment…I’m just afraid something like that would probably wipe out my life’s savings and I might just need that money down the road for silly little things like, oh I don’t know, medicine?
I woke up this morning before the alarm went off. I think the sounds I made when I tried to roll over scared at least one life out of the cats. They both sat up and stared at me, wondering what language I was speaking and what it meant. When I finally was able to struggle to the side of the bed, I tried to stand. I’m thankful I never put full-length mirrors in my bedroom. I’m pretty sure I was hunched over like a 90-year-old woman. After hobbling around for a couple of minutes, I knew I wasn’t going anywhere today. So I made the dreaded call in to work. Fortunately, there were no threats telling me I better get in there or else. Seriously, I’m lucky to have a great boss. He’s understanding…or at least as understanding as someone who knows very little about RA can be.
After placing the call, I used the furniture and walls to support myself as I made my way to the bathroom. I thought about going downstairs, but gave that thought up and climbed back into bed. I couldn’t really go back to sleep, but Spooky snuggled up next to me, emitting her warm, healing cat vibes. Amazing how much it helps to have a pet right there with you when you don’t feel well, isn’t it?
I finally struggled back to the bathroom and took a hot shower. I really wanted to soak in the tub, but I was afraid I would have to crawl out of it today and that didn’t sound all that appealing to me. I did finally get dressed…well, sort of…if you consider putting on a clean pair of pajamas getting dressed. I think that’s as close to getting dressed as I’ll get today.
I made my way downstairs and fed the cats. I looked at the juicer sitting there on the counter but couldn’t dig up enough energy to make some fresh juice. I did have tea in the fridge that I’d prepared the night before for work. What the heck, it’s wet. It works just fine to wash down that handful of pills I take every morning. And who knows? Maybe I’ll feel like making some juice later on…it’ll taste just as good later in the day.
When I sat down at my computer, I started reading and replying to the posts of some of my favorite blogs. That’s when it hit me. I still have a week and a half before I see the rheumatologist. I have no idea what to expect. I do know this first visit won’t be that magic cure we’re all hoping for. I think, in the back of my mind, I’ve been telling myself that once I see the rheumy, everything will be better. I’ve read enough of other people’s experiences to know that that’s not likely to be the case. So I’ve just got to suck it up and accept that this is apt to be a bumpy road. Guess I’d better look around and see if I can find a soft cushion to help me tolerate those big, bad bumps in the road, huh?
Filed under: health | Tagged: Cat, chronic pain, Pain, Rheumatoid arthritis | 14 Comments »
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