A scolding from my doctor…

A diet rich in soy and whey protein, found in ...

A diet rich in soy and whey protein, found in products such as soy milk and low-fat yogurt, has been shown to reduce breast cancer incidence in rats. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

…okay, she’s this little bitty fairly young thing, and sitting there mildly scolding me…I tried my best not to laugh at her…and I didn’t…laugh at her, that is.  We were discussing the lab work I’d had done last week…the results were not as good as they were a year ago…no real surprise to me, I know I haven’t been eating as well as I was and I haven’t been exercising much either.

None of the results were in bad ranges (and that’s a good thing), but the numbers had edged up a bit over last year’s numbers.  So she brought up losing weight…funny thing was, before I left the house to visit with her, I’d made out a grocery list chock full of fruits and veggies, with no pizza or ice cream.  We started talking about diet and she said she brings a big salad to work every day for her lunch, very rarely eats out.  Believe me, I know that’s the way to do it.

After I left, driving to Kroger, I started thinking about what I was doing to myself with poor diet and exercise habits.  Kind of silly, isn’t it?   The last time I ate food from a fast food joint, the entire time I was eating it, I kept thinking it wasn’t even really that good.

So, my little goal for myself is to lose 10 pounds by the time I go back to see her in July…totally do-able, don’t you think?  I bought some strawberries and veggies to cut up and make my world-famous faux Subway subs (on whole wheat sub buns)…that’s going to be lunch for the next several days at work.

Back to that little old journey toward health and fitness…got to keep myself from getting sidetracked so I can feel a bit better.

Hiding in the dark

Monday morning 102/365

Monday morning 102/365 (Photo credit: Blue Square Thing)

The mommy and daddy monsters left Sean alone in the dark, battered and bruised.  He heard the click of the lock on the bedroom door, then their footsteps walking toward the kitchen.  He didn’t know how long he stayed on the bed, his hands still gripped around the rails on the head-board.  He wanted to curl up in a ball and drift into the dark place.  The place no one could ever follow him.  No one could yell at him or hurt him.  The place where little boys didn’t live with mommy and daddy monsters, or get locked in their rooms, bleeding and hungry and hurting.

Finally braving the pain that wracked his little body, the boy began slowly moving, trying to make the hurt go away.  He lay there in the dark, staring at nothing, holding and rocking himself, refusing to allow the tears to fall.  He asked himself why he was always such a bad boy, why couldn’t he be a good boy?  If only he could be good, then maybe his mommy and daddy wouldn’t have to be monsters.  Maybe they could love him.  He told himself he would be a better boy.  No matter how hungry he gets, he won’t ever take food again.  He will be so good that they will smile at him and hug him and read him bedtime stories like the nice people do when he gets to stay with them sometimes.  Maybe, if he can be good enough, his mommy will let him help her bake cookies like the nice lady did that one time.  And maybe his daddy will let him sit on his lap and they’ll watch cartoons on tv and laugh at the funny ones.  If only he could be good enough for those things to happen…

As the little boy’s eyes began to close, he began rubbing the satin border on the blanket between his fingers and thumb, the thumb finding its way into his mouth.  Sometimes, when you’re only three, you find what comfort you can, especially when you live with mommy and daddy monsters.