No, no, little children…Santa doesn’t really smell…Santa rocks…How can you not love Santa? He’s overweight and jolly. You don’t see Santa making New Year’s resolutions to lose weight. He just accepts himself the way he is, with a twinkle in his eye and a full-belly laugh. No way does Santa go through any kind of special training for the big day either. He just does it!
Santa is an equal opportunity employer…elves, reindeer…it doesn’t matter to Santa as long as you can get the work done. And they all get to spend every day making toys for good little girls and boys (the bad little girls and boys? well, I guess Santa doesn’t totally forget about them. I mean, I think you’d have to be super bad for Santa to completely skip your house, and even then, you still got a lump of coal. Not that one lump of coal is good for much, unless you’re from a huge family of bad little boys and girls, then you might get enough coal to provide a little heat.)
And really, who else do you know who can travel the entire world in one night, stopping at every house, taking the time to deliver gifts and eat some cookies? Santa and his reindeer must have that sled moving fast enough to break the sound barrier.
So do you think Santa and Mrs Claus take a tropical vacation in January? And what about all of those elves? Do they get a paid vacation? And if they all go on vacation at the same time, who feeds the reindeer and makes sure their water doesn’t freeze? If you happen to catch Santa this Christmas Eve, could you ask him those questions for me?