Imagine my surprise, when I checked my email this evening, to find messages from both the FBI and Interpol!! Holy moly, what have I done?! What do they think I’ve done? Did my alter ego do something illegal? Do I (unknowingly) have a split personality? Or maybe one of my friends has done something and they’re contacting everyone who knows him or her (now that makes you think, doesn’t it? Is it you instead of me?).
Upon reading additional emails, I discovered how to melt pounds away while eating anything I want, that an old boyfriend is searching for me, that I’ve won the Nigerian lottery and that some lady in a country I’ve never heard of wants to send me my inheritance…wow…who knew?
Honestly, is there anyone out there dumb enough to think that the FBI or Interpol would contact you by email…I’m thinking you’d be much more likely to get a knock on your door than an email in your spam folder, but that’s just me. And really, all I know about Interpol is what I’ve read in books (Patricia Cornwell‘s Scarpetta series comes to mind).
The Nigerian lottery? How much money could that possibly involve? Isn’t Nigeria a relatively impoverished country? And don’t you have to buy a lottery ticket to win? An inheritance? Uhh…yeah…because all of my relatives are so freakin’ rich (and generous with their wealth). And the old boyfriend? All the old boyfriends I can think of are exes for a reason! But if I thought there was a chance that I could melt pounds while eating anything I wanted to eat, believe me, I’d be right there signing up!!
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Filed under: humor, life, weight loss | Tagged: email, Patricia Cornwell, satire, Scarpetta | 5 Comments »