I’m stalled on the weight loss highway

Treadmill workstation view 2

You know how frustrating it is when your car breaks down?  Well, that’s how I’m feeling in my weight loss efforts.  I’m eating too much of the wrong kinds of foods and not really getting in enough exercise.  Why?  Work?  Well, yeah…but who doesn’t work?  And I’ve been able to combine work and a healthy lifestyle in the past.  Stress?  Sure, there’s always stress and right now I’m actually feeling less stress than a few months ago.  It’s like I just can’t get my mind wrapped around the whole weight loss, exercise, healthy lifestyle thing. 

I know I just need to do it (thank you, Nike)…whether or not I’m feeling motivated, whether or not I want to, whether or not I’m feeling enthusiasm…if I just force myself to do it, the motivation, the thrill, the excitement will all come back around.  Discipline, determination, die-hard effort…that’s what it takes and that’s what I have to put into it.

Right now I’m feeling down, not depressed, but not joyous either.  I want that zest for life back…seems I had it not that long ago and let it slip away.  And that frustrates me.  Makes me angry with myself.  Having battled the weight, the depression, all my life how could I have allowed myself to slip right back into the behaviors that are guaranteed to knock me back down?  Do I not learn from past mistakes?  Or is there really something else in my life that I need to deal with before I can be truly successful on my weight loss journey?  That question will take some careful consideration and a lot of deep soul-searching to figure out.

But what I can do right now is the old fake it ’till you make it…eat like I would eat as a healthy, fit person…exercise every day because it’s what I need to do to feel good about myself…behave as I behaved when I felt my best…and keep behaving that way until it once again becomes habit.  Plan and prepare…get back to my SparkPeople daily habit…set goals and work toward them…and continue fighting…I can’t give up because then what do I have?  I want to live life to the fullest, I want to smile with pride, I want to be happy and healthy and fit.  Keep moving forward…keep my head up and do it…do it every day.


2 Responses

  1. Thanks for stopping by at my blog. Your pink cap and Hoosiers badge caught my eye now. I lived in Bloomington for four years. Also, I walked in the first two 60 mile breast cancer walks in DC to honor my friend Miki who died when we were 47. I’m jumping right into your life here, without knowing your background. But if you are a survivor (I know there’s a better word) and you run, goodness, you are ahead of the game. What you said is so true: Eat like you are a healthy person. That’s the answer, you know. Whatever we do in life, whatever goals we have, we get to act as though they have already happened. Oh yikes, I’m going on and on.

    • How cool that you’ve lived in Bloomington…and the breast cancer walks you did in memory of your friend…awesome! I lost my mom to breast cancer 20 years ago…she was 52…so I did that 5K in her honor…pretty emotional for me…bu I really want to do it again this fall, so I need to get with some serious training!

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